Hold onto your Naira, folks, because the former Governor of Central Bank of Nigeria, Godwin Emefiele just got served a side dish of spicy indictments that’ll make your wallet sweat.
Special Investigator on the CBN and Related Entities, Jim Obazee, on Thursday, dropped a bombshell, claiming Emefiele stashed away a cool million (or, well, a not-so-cool £543 million) in no fewer than 593 bank accounts scattered across the globe, like a squirrel hoarding acorns on a global scale.
Obazee submitted his final report tagged, ‘Report of the Special Investigation on CBN and Related Entities (Chargeable offences)’ to President Bola Tinubu on Wednesday.
The report partly read, “The former governor of CBN, Godwin Emefiele invested Nigeria’s money without authorization in 593 foreign bank accounts in United States, China and United Kingdom, while he was in charge.
“All the accounts where the billions were lodged have all been traced by the investigator.”
Picture this: US dollars tucked away in a New York bodega safe, Pounds chilling in a London pub’s secret cellar, and Yuan sunbathing in a Shanghai bank vault – all allegedly belonging to the man who’s supposed to be keeping Nigeria’s finances in check. It’s like watching a magician pull a rabbit out of a hat, except instead of a fluffy bunny, it’s a stack of bills thicker than a former CBN governor’s rulebook.
Now, before you start booking your one-way ticket to the Bahamas to join Emefiele’s beachside accounting party, let’s remember these are just allegations, juicier than a plate of Suya but still waiting to be grilled.
But here’s the real kicker: 593 accounts? That’s more than the number of potholes on Lagos roads after a rainy season! Did Emefiele need a separate account for each pair of cufflinks? Was he planning on opening a global chain of “Emefiele’s Emporium of Exotic Currencies”? The questions, like the number of accounts, just keep piling up.
So, while we wait for the truth to unravel like a poorly-knotted shoelace, let’s raise a glass of (affordable) palm wine to the drama. This is a story with more twists and turns than a Naira note on Black Friday, and we’re all strapped in for the ride.
Just remember, folks, keep your eyes on your wallets, your passports, and the headlines – because in this game of global piggy banks, you never know who might be the next squirrel with a secret stash.