Forget “Rocky,” forget “Ali,” this was the ultimate rumble in the jungle, Nigerian style! Street-pop sensation Portable, aka Zazuu himself, unleashed his inner Tyson Fury on Wednesday morning, pummeling Nollywood actor Charles Okocha into submission in a celebrity boxing match that was equal parts sweatfest and slapstick comedy.
Ah, contracts! Those pesky little pieces of paper that mean absolutely nothing when facing off against the master of deception, Charles ” Houdini ” Okocha. Apparently, his interpretation of “payment” involves disappearing acts with your hard-earned N40 million. No wonder Portable was throwing haymakers like magic tricks – gotta get that dough back somehow!
Yes, folks, the online feud finally spilled over into the squared circle, and Portable landed a knockout blow on both Okocha’s chin and his alleged thievery.
Now to the fisticuffs! The clock struck past midnight, the crowd at Landmark Beach buzzed with anticipation, and then… BOOM! Portable came out swinging like a man possessed, dropping rhymes and jabs with equal ferocity. Okocha, no slouch himself, retaliated with some fancy footwork and a mean right hook that almost sent Portable doing the Zazuu shuffle into the ropes.
But Zazuu was a man on a mission. Round after round, he peppered Okocha with a barrage of jabs and uppercuts, his every punch punctuated by a guttural “Zazuu!” that echoed through the beach like a war cry. Okocha, game but gassed, started looking like he’d rather be sipping palm wine than trading leather.
Finally, the ref called it quits after the fourth round, and the verdict was unanimous: Portable, the undisputed champion! He raised his fist in the air, a triumphant grin plastered across his face, as Okocha stumbled to his corner, nursing a bruised ego and a newfound respect for the man who brought Zazuu to life.
So, was it a boxing masterpiece? Probably not. Was it a side-splitting spectacle of flailing limbs and questionable technique? Absolutely! In the end, Portable and Okocha gave the audience a night they won’t soon forget, proving that sometimes, the best entertainment comes not from flawless footwork, but from sheer, unadulterated passion (and maybe a little bit of trash talk).
Who learned the real lesson here? Don’t mess with Portable’s money, or you might just end up with a black eye and a bruised ego. And remember, folks, even if you’re a smooth-talking actor, sometimes the best way to settle a score is with a good old-fashioned fistfight (and maybe a catchy dance move or two).
Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to go practice my Zazuu shuffle. Who knows, maybe one day I’ll be the next champion of the Celebrity Boxing Colosseum. Just gotta watch out for those flying bottles of palm wine!